The Ex is Grandfathered In – June 2006

The ex is always grandfathered in. Guiltless sex with someone other than the person you are currently exclusive with.

Let me define exclusive it means you are only intimate with, make love to, or any other manner of naked bodies and molestation, with each other, no body else. Thats where the grandfather clause comes in. The ex is always grandfathered in.

So when the Silly Engineer finally realized that the truth was the only way to fix my raging fury, he informed me that the lip gloss belonged to the ex. One can only imagine the anger-interuptus which occurred within me. I mean, I couldnt even be righteously indignant over the whole thing. Because the ex is grandfathered in.

I wanted him to be a cad. I waited a very long twelve months for him to be a cad. Frat Boy. Silver Spoon. Spoiled Child. Sexist. Elitist. And I am stuck here forced to think about who he is and how that reality conflicts with the box I have used to frame him.

She is the ex.
I am the ex.
Everyone is an ex at some point.
Its just inevitable.

Or maybe this is just my own way of making room for the Audio Thief. Its not the first time Ive used the clause to accommodate him. Seems to be a routine of mine. That is, if a routine can be synonymous with convenient.

So if its on my terms, by my desire, then why am I feeling so insecure about the Audio Thief coming into my space? Why am I having such an issue with the prospect of his physical presence in my apartment?

Im inclined to believe that the problem lies not with his presence, but instead, with the idea of another person read: human being in my life.

For example, I have girlfriends and buddies sleep on the couch all the time..

Oh right, its about the bed.

So whats the big deal? Why am I so freaked out that I agreed to see him? The Silly Engineer and I have parted ways, in a manner of speaking, so theres really no agreement with which to apply the clause. *shrug* So its not about guiltless sex.

I think there is a possibility that the issue is with the fact that I am well. I am not ill, not sick, not dying, not undergoing treatment, or getting shots. I am well and he is near and this frightens me.

So in the end, the ex is grandfathered into the agreement I have with myself.