Raccoons - January 2005

Last night at about 2am, my dog Archie went ballistic with "securing the perimeter".  He dove off the bed and charged the balcony, prudently stopping at the thresh hold to wait for mom to "come get it!"  I live in a "tree house" of sorts, upstairs and surrounded on 2 sides by large mature leafy trees.  I thought I was chasing off a cat.  It came back.  I thought it was a possum, so I took the broom to it and chased it down the sidewalk.

Third time at the balcony with Archie going nuts, I look out the patio door and a masked creature stared back at me defiantly.  I ran around the house in a panic, closing doors, and windows and realized *that* activity was pointless, little buggers can open doors.  I went to the balcony and watched as not one raccoon, but 2, slowly and calmly climbed down the stairs.  I decided to reason with them.  "I live here," I said, "this is my house.  You can go live in the back yard.  There are plenty of bushes and trees back there, go make a nice den.  But this is my house and you can't live here."  Amazingly they went to the back yard.

About 20 minutes later I hear them crashing about in the back yard.  They knocked something over and probably scared themselves silly.  It got quiet immediately, nevertheless.  Within a few minutes, I hear one of them.  She parked herself under my bedroom window and chirruped, incessantly.  So I got up and went to the balcony.  The male, at least 20lbs, very large, very fluffy and a dark grey coat with a perfectly ringed tail and gorgeous black mask is looking up at me from the mid-point of the tree at my balcony.  We are literally eye to eye.   She is chirruping and scuttling down the side of the apartment and rounds the corner, looks up at me, puts her hands in front of her and chirrups at me!  She is about 15lbs, beautiful light grey coat, and the sides of her belly are plump and oddly shaped.  This kid is ready to pop!  Her tail has perfect rings and her mask is just as gorgeous but it's a bit spottled and striped at the edges.  He slowly climbs down to the ground and walks over to sit by her.  They mill around on the entry and then he jumps 4 feet straight up, and on to the entry ledge, and looks up at me.

So I say, "fine stay here but you can't come inside."  I go back to bed.  Within a few minutes the chirruping starts beneath my window.  I get up and this time he is sitting on the front steps and she is peaking around the corner.  At this point I realize that unless I give them something, this is going to go on all night!

I do the worst thing imaginable and the number one thing against the rules of interacting with Urban Wildlife - I give them a plate of dog kibble.  At first I threw a handful down to see if they would even eat it.... I mean why waste perfectly good dog kibble right?  Well they scarffed it up.  So I went down and put the plate on the steps.  By the time I got back up to the balcony to watch them they were sitting around the plate feasting.  They ate for about 10 minutes, or half the plate, they milled around.

I heard chirruping from the front sidewalk so I go to the front wall of the patio and look down:  She is sitting on one of the rocks in the front garden sitting on her haunches looking up at me.  Her hands are in front of her and clasped.  She tosses her head this way and that, and the male walked up behind her in the low plants and off they went.  I guess they were just "passing through".  She knew I'd give her food if she asked clearly, it just took her several tries!  Tenacious little devil! I'm sure they will be back at some point.  Probably with the entire family!   And yes, I will do the dumb thing and feed them.  What?  I'm going to let a Raccoon go hungry?