When is Enough Really Enough?

Here I am – home with a migraine that is nearly debilitating – and I catch myself for not following the rules, not being careful.  No matter how much I hate it, there are certain things I cannot do as a result of my dance with Endo.  There are dietary rules, brittle bone rules.  Little things they fail to mention about surviving the Big C.

I was so young when I was diagnosed with Endometriosis, 20 years old.  I had been having symptoms since high school, but no one ever even considered the idea.  My first round of treatment was 1988, Danocrine to suppress Estrogen production, for 6 months.  The first 3 months were bad; the last three months were hell.  I had all of the side effects, and was miserable the entire time.  By 1990 I was doing well, but by 1991 I started to get sick again.

Endometriosis and Me

For 20 years I have had to manage my life according to Endo.  For 6 years I lived my life according to me, and it has been an incredible change.  Now, I face the prospect of treatment, again.  1998 was bad enough, and I stuck with it until 2003, but I just couldn’t anymore.  In 2004 I said “Never again”, and here I am placing focus and energy in to the disease.

Because of Stage IV Endometriosis, I have endured 3 rounds of Chemo, 1 of which was an experimental treatment, I have had 5 surgeries, 2 marriages, a bankruptcy and countless love affairs.

When do I say enough is enough?

The problem with Stage IV Aggressive Recurring Endometriosis is this:

"If you combine inflammation with estrogen, it's going to be a vicious circle," said Dr. Nezhat.
http://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/722605 OR  The Link Between Endometriosis & Cancer

So you suppress the estrogen to the point of ….. what?  How far is “low enough”?  The lower the estrogen, the more risk of memory loss.  In my case, Long Term Memory Loss.  Pieces of my life that I can only remember in the most narrowest of terms.  According to the “Story” I Stored the memory within back in the far reaches of The Vault.

To put it into tangible terms, in order to stop the migraines & the renal, & the intestinal problems and to control the night sweats & hot flashes, I have to RAISE my estrogen levels just enough but not too much.  Lot’s of tests to perform to get within a good guessing range to start the experimentation.

Fine Print:

There’s no guarantee the Endo won’t resurface during this experimentation period to get the system under control.

And who’s going to pay for all of this?

[caption id="attachment_257" align="alignright" width="300" caption="Endo Journal 1999"][/caption]

Oh, I see.  I work and work to pay for extraordinary Insurance Premiums, thousands of dollars in Pharmacy costs & Co-Payments.  That’s my “American Dream”.  Steve Madden Pumps or Hormone Blood Tests?  Jones New York Suit or Prescriptions?  Android Tab or MRI?

I’ve matured from “Sex in the City” to “Rx in the City”.

The Manic Depressive Rantings of a Mad Woman

Facebook Status 2010

Pastwatch: The Redemption of Christopher Columbus

Pastwatch The Redemtion of Christopher Columbus

Orson Scot Card

I sometimes like to refer to this book as, "How Pagans Saved the World"

 

Before reading this book, one should have some prerequisites for total enjoyment. First, you should have a fairly firm grasp of World History 1000 to 1810, the below video will demonstrate 200 Countries in 200 years from 1810 to Present. While it is regarding Global Health, by following the Red Countries and their relationships to the Gold Countries, Colonization is already in full swing, and the Colonized are gaining Independance.

If you have to change the World by changing the culture, where do you start? How do you start? Card provides one theory by presenting a story of Pastwatch Scientists and their Mission to Save our Planet in the Future. Food & Water Supply have run out and Technology is the only resource they have left to research a solution to Earth's dwindling life supporting resources.

Time, Time Travel and Timing are the dominating themes of this story. The Future Earth and Past Earth come together within a romantic tale of two Pastwatch Scientists whose passion is Technology & their Dream to work with the Pastwatch Team. The story within the story focuses on the 300 years before Columbus reached America in 1492, the point at which the Scientists determine they can save the World from Destruction by leaving in tact Social Infrastructure of Democracy and Freedom.

There is a very critical look at the impact of Slavery on the World in the Future. In this story, Card, a very conservative and devout Mormon, blames the Catholic Church for Slavery, and in later years, for not condemning it sooner. Pastwatch: The Redemption of Orson Scot Card

It is easy to see you might need an understanding of the History of Slavery..... Global Slavery. Since Slavery is what built Rome, Greece, Egypt, Babylon (Iraq), & Persia, it is difficult to understand what Slavery really means. The video above gives a very small glimpse at the impact of Slavery, and to make a leap in logic, one could say that the Gold Countries are really just a Cartel controlling the World Market.

That is not to say the story is not enjoyable, because it is very engrossing. To understand why I say the story makes me think "How Pagans Saved the World" you have to read the book. When I say "Pagan" I mean the Indigenous People with a Culture before Christianity, Judiaism, or Islam was introduced through "Colonization" or Slavery.

I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.