If Only…..

If the VP of Finance had kept his promise to me, we would never have gotten divorced. The condition of our reconciliation was that we leave California all together and we move to Chicago. His 2 sisters wanted him home, my sister was there and needed support, my Nephews & Niece were there and his Niece & Nephews were there, it made sense for us to repair our marriage with the support of our families.

We reconciled in Chicago in August 2001. He had moved there in May 2001 when we separated because he could not bear to be in the same city as me. His youngest sister took him in and he was repairing his life. By August when I flew out to visit my sister, he had been in therapy for 2 months and was working part time. We met in Lakeview on the North Side of Chicago and walked the tree line streets. We went to Wrigley Field and walked around a street fair. I still have the wax gargoyle, the book of poetry and the scarf/halter top be bought me in Chicago.

He was a changed man. He had returned to the VP of Finance that I fell in love with 7 years prior; the man who saved my life, who took care of me and who loved me. I fell in love all over again in those few days with him. We agreed to move to Chicago by October at the very latest ahead of the Winter Snow. His sisters were screening houses for us in the Lakeview area. I insisted we move to that neighborhood because he was obviously himself there. I got my husband back. If keeping him in an environment where he was happy and himself meant that I move to Chicago to keep my husband and save my marriage, then so be it. I loved him dearly.

Three weeks after my return from my Chicago vacation, the VP of Finance returned to California, returned to my bed, returned to our marriage. The purpose of him returning was to help me pack up and move the house to Chicago. His sister continued to screen and view houses while we packed and I found a job out there. Our target date was October 1, and we were both scheduling phone interviews with companies based in Chicago.

On September 11, the Twin Towers were attacked and destroyed in New York City. It changed everything. The Aerospace Industry crashed due to the use of Commercial Airlines in the attack. The downstream effect this had on the Manufacturing Industry at large, and the trickledown to Suppliers was overwhelming. Jobs were drying up, unemployment skyrocketed and we did not move to Chicago.

I kept pushing through January 2002, but it was useless. There were no jobs, the housing market in Chicago was booming – it was impossible. We remained in the green house in Manhattan Beach, we remained in California. We went to Chicago again for the Christmas and New Year's Holidays in December 2002. I tried pushing again to move back to Chicago, but by then he had become resolute in remaining in California. By February 2003, he had gotten into an argument with his youngest sister's husband and it caused a rift in his relationship with his family. Ho no longer wanted to move back, he wanted us to remain in the green house in Manhattan Beach. Where he was miserable, angry, and depressed.

When I broke my ankle in March 2003 it was the final straw. He snapped. In 2 short weeks he returned to the nasty mean angry emotionally & verbally abusive man I through out of my bed just one year earlier. In April, with a cast on my foot, I left him and drove to my mother's house. I stayed there for a week. She convinced me to return home and I told her it was pointless. She begged me. He begged me. So I went home. Within a week we had another fight. I called my mother and told both her and the VP of Finance that when the cast came off I was leaving. Period.

The cast came off in May and we attended the Renaissance Pleasure Faire with my Family on closing weekend. I was still looking for apartments; he was sleeping in the office; mom was telling me my ankle was too weak for me to move out.

Then the Audio Thief emailed me the first week of June.

I had used Divorce Wizards to draw up the divorce papers in 2001. I revised them, updated them, and we had them Notarized. On June 30, 2003 I went down to the Los Angeles Superior Court and I filed them. I called Divorce Wizards from the court house steps and gave them my Case Number.

The next day, July 1, 2 things happened. The VP of Finance moved out, and I received email confirmation of the legal separation pending divorce with a final decree date of January 20, 2004. I handed him the legal separation papers as he carried the last box out of the house. He had 30 days to contest the Divorce, otherwise it would be awarded by the courts and the decree issued as stated. He took no action. We were legally divorced 6 months later.

If only we had moved to Chicago.

We never would have gotten divorced.

We would have stayed in love and stayed married.

If only he had kept his promise to me.

This past January we have been divorced 7 years. We were married for 10.